The Relationship Lady

Some people do gardening, tennis, scrapbooking... I do relationships! I love transparent, connected relationships. I want to help others have good relationships whether it's male/female parent/child or best friends.

I really have a burden for those who want to be married. I got married for the first time this year at 49 years old.
My relationships have not be perfect by any means but I have learned a lot from them. I have been through all kinds of stuff... good and bad--- but how would you know what a good relationship is if you have never experienced a bad one. Even my therapist says I am great at relationships lol

What makes me a relationship expert? Well I do them lol. But really, I have spent my life understanding what makes people tick. It is my passion.
God has also given me gifts in this area. From a practical stand point. I was a trained discipleship leader at my church. I have led 5 year long discipleship groups. 3 of the groups were for women. 1 of the groups was for women in the Entertainment industry.

The last two groups I co-led with a married couple Dexter and Lisa Jones. These groups consisted of 10 single men,10 single women and focused on hindrances to marriage. The groups were pro- marriage and for those who had a desire to be married. We looked at areas where healing was needed-- such as; fear of commitment and encouraged the members to be proactive in their search or a mate.

I also have undergone a great deal of inner healing and deliverance for issues that have plagued my life... rejection, fear of abandonment, depression, anxiety.

In 96 I was trained by Pastor Kuni Garrison as a inner healing counselor and conducted many inner healing counseling sessions. My burden is to as Isaiah 61 says

" to heal the broken-hearted
to help free captives,
to comfort all who grieving;
to give beauty instead of ashes,
the oil of joy instead of messages of doom,
a praising heart instead of despair and depression
so that they might become oaks of righteousness"

On this blog you can ask for advice and I will walk with you to create better relationships for all of us!
October 3

I’M PMS HIDE YOUR KNIVES!!!

The Relationship Lady wants to speak out about a horrible syndrome that is destroying good relationships.  You may have heard of it PMS or as I have recently labeled it PART MONSTER SYNDROME.   Now ladies some of you may have the everyday run of the mill PMS  but I have what’s called PMDD.. Premenstrual dysphoric disorder and is in the psych book…   which means it’s a  mental illness see the signs below

·       Food cravings or binge eating

·       Mood swings marked by periods of teariness

·       Panic attack

·       Persistent irritability or anger that affects other people

·       Trouble concentrating

·         Physical symptoms, such as bloating, breast tenderness

  • Disinterest in daily activities and relationships

·       Fatigue or low energy

·        Feeling of sadness or hopelessness, possible suicidal thoughts

·       Feelings of tension or anxiety

·       Feeling out of control

·       Sleep disturbances, headaches

 

So instead of being Part Monster I turn into the full on Wolf woman and Frankenstein’s bride.

  For instance while in the grocery store as I pushed my basket around every corner with my eyes and body language I dared other shoppers to hit my basket so I could either RAM them or RUN them over!   But alas none took the bait. 

Walking down the street afterwards I saw a young man wearing those stupid sagging pants… his butt and under ware showing his pants hanging  down to the bottom of his hips. 

It took all I had not to use my old running  broad jump technique  to catch up to him  tackle him and pull those pants up over his head… and whip him with his own belt!!

The Relationship Lady wants to help you and your spouse or loved ones to make it through this ten days or so of PART MONSTER HORROR—and perhaps it will help The Relationship Lady with her own problems.   

Men

First of all I suggest putting all sharp objects away…. For some reason during this time my mind often goes to Oh they think they can do that to me…. I’m gon’ have to CUT somebody!!!!    No, for real anger, rage and violence can happen during this time.  Please watch out for flying pots of grits, and stilettos aimed at your head.

This is not the time to have any heavy duty relationship conversations.   You are not talking to a normal woman you are talking to a monster—who might do things that monsters do—like to bite your head off… well The PMS monster is no exception. 

 

 Men if your wife ask you a question that sounds like a trick question—Am I fat?  You had better find a way to change the subject quick or start commenting on how beautiful she is etc, etc, etc.    This is no time for heart to heart truth talks.  This is not time to bring up some past fight or misunderstanding… In fact guys  step carefully to avoid many of the PMS mines— everything will be going just fine and then you will BOOM!!  Step on a PMS mine and your whole day will be blown to bits.

 The next think you know your wife’s head is spinning around and you find yourself dancing in place hoping to avoid the next blow up.  And don’t try to leave that won’t work either then you will be met with tears and hysterical about how you don’t understand and how insensitive you are.  No the best course of action is just to stay put and don’t say too much.

Men also remember what happens during this time don’t take it personally or don’t take it as how she really feels.   She is just in a state of heighten emotions – with the temporary growth of horns and tail.   Once it’s over she will be her sweet loveable self. 

Men probably not a good idea to remind her how much ice cream cookies or cake she has eaten in the last several days.   Women who are PMS crave sugar…  so you might as well go with it and not get in the line of fire on that one…  although she will probably ask you once the PMS is gone away why you didn’t stop her.   Oh well better talk about it then instead of the midst of the MONSTER Syndrome.

Women this is also not a time to deal with any of your in-laws that you don’t particularly like.    It’s very likely that you will say something to them … like

·         I can’t stand you anyway

·         kiss my ass,

·         or the proverbial , Your mama! 

 

I say definitely avoid any in-laws that you already have problems with.   PMS creates a kind of impulsivity that has you writing checks that your ass may not be able to cash!!!  if you know what I mean.

 I had a huge argument yesterday with an in-law and my husband was not real happy about it…  I didn’t like this person anyway… and now that my WERESHARON had taken over he was damn well gonna know it!!

 basically I was out of control… and once it got started it was on an poppin and I could not stop myself to save my life.  Me and my in-law deleted each other from facebook… but I wouldn’t be thwarted I signed on to my husbands facebook and continued the fight…     Not so good.    I have now been banned from my husband’s facebook.

Women be fair to your man try not to ask him any baiting questions… I know you are feeling vulnerable but try to hold some of those questions till after your period comes it will turn out a whole lot better.

 

Other things not to do!

·        This is not a time to do a review with your boss – see if you can postpone it.

·        This is not a time to try to make up with friends you have fallen out with… yes you may be emotional and want to mend the relationship…. But just wait till after your period comes and see if you still the same way.  Bottom line I it’s best if everyone is realistic and realizes that this is a real THING…. You really do have a PART MONSTER in your house for 10 days or so and you need to act accordingly. 

·        Do not call your cell phone company  or your bank or anybody that you might have to cuss out!   I know , I know ya’ll are spiritual… ya’ll don’t cuss no more….  Until that PMS Demon takes hold of you.  Chandala  PMS bowtime !!! (Tongues to rebuke the PMS demon)

 

So men give your wives a break—they don’t mean to be like this they can’t help it.   Try to listen, be helpful and just say to yourself this will be over soon. 

 Try keeping track of when the MONSTER will show up in your home so you are not blindsided or think you are dealing with Dr. Jeckel instead of Miss Frankenstein Dracula Hyde!

THE RELATIONSHIP LADY asks that all that have read this pray for her  she has 2 more  PMS days to go and she is thinking of quarantining herself to the house , and not using the phone so as to avoid any – uh mishaps

Copyright Sharon Nash Oct. 4 2010